Still in disbelief. Had one meeting today and it was at 2:30 right when Adam Schefter tweeted out that Ben Johnson will be the next Chicago Bears Head Coach. I am so glad. Relieved. So many great words to express my feelings on a day known as “Blue Monday”. This “holiday” (not MLK day) is the most depressing day of the year. Like please don’t twist that into me saying MLK Day, that would be a really bad look and and it’s not true! Anyways, It’s -8 degrees out in the greatest city in the world. I will be walking 30 minutes to an apartment tour listening to ESPN 1000 with Waddle & Silvy on full blast. Maybe Noise Cancellation as well. We got the best head coaching candidate since Kyle Fucking Shanahan. We got the best QB prospect since Andrew Luck. Need the Arlington Heights deal to come through next. I am addicted to good news. I could spell COCONUT on Ryan’s Pole. Come here you fat ass. Right now. Let’s FUCKING GOOOO!!! The Bears are BACK.
Wrote that part in the moment and have done nothing but digest ever since. Like a 5-course meal. This is a feeling of intoxication. I wanted to do a collab blog with the rest of the team, but I can’t help myself. George McCaskey put his nuts on the table. Can you believe we are saying that? Credit where credit is due. If Ted Phillips is here, does he tell George it’s not a good idea? Maybe. Stadium Boy, Kevin Warren, deserves props. Poles could get a statue after this. At the very least Wrigley chewing gum for life. The narratives have completely flipped. “The Haul”. Caleb Williams. Ben Johnson. We keep on winning off seasons. We were a laughingstock interviewing damn near anyone who has ever coached a down of football. It was getting embarrassing. All to get the Big Fish. Things are heating up for the Bears and for all of Bears fans’ sanity. Sudden optimism. There’s no doubt in my mind that Cakes will predict a 13-4 record for our Bears next season.
Not only are we getting Ben Johnson, top head coaching candidate on the market, but we’re also hearing he’s getting Dennis Allen for DC. Okay? He’s the perfect Assistant Head Coach/Defensive Coordinator who we know will probably never leave us for a Head Coaching job elsewhere. Electric. Former head coaching experience to cover any grey area from a first time head coach that George is going to pay a speculated 13 million?! Is this some big joke? We are acting like a Tiffany Franchise for the first time ever? Another rumor has us getting the Saints Special Teams Coordinator who has head coaching experience as well? Okay? RIZZ ON ME is back. Bring the Rizzler to the sidelines in Chicago. Movie scenes everywhere. I don’t want to get carried away and hear me out, but… Tyreek Hill? Imagine that Ferrari in Ben Johnson’s new offense. He wants speed? How about the fastest. Guy hates his life in Miami and Poles drafted him. He might have a case of CTE, could be risky, but I drafted him 3rd overall in fantasy this year (I’m so fucking stupid Tyreek’s broken brain could draft a better team). Besides the point, positive vibes only. I cannot wait for the rest of this offseason and the season to come. Get me a big time pass rusher opposite of Montez Sweat, a new brain for Jaquon Brisker, and probably 3 new offensive linemen picked out by Hank Fraley. Can you imagine? Hank Fraley as OC? Come here. I am horned up right now. Perhaps because my Fiancée has been gone for 5 days, but also because the Bears are jerking me off to completion right now. Jesus, that got very sexual very quick but you could tell this blog was heading that direction. The Bears are hot right now. Don’t let us get hot.
The Packers are 0-2 in 2025. The Lions are going to lose their staff and Jared Goff returned to being Jared Goff. The Vikings are either going to pay Darnold a bag (unlikely), or rely on a rookie who’s coming off of an injury. If someone poaches Brian Flores I might bet the house on the division. All that is left to do at this point is…
Take back the North and NEVER give it back.
Happy MLK Day!!
Da Bears