TGL: Tomorrow’s Golf League – Night 1

Did you know this was even happening? Most probably didn’t. The marketing and noise was rather lackluster up until a couple weeks ago. And honestly, when I first heard of a “simulator golf league,” I nearly went for an AIDS test. Can I say that? I guess we’ll find out.

Little did I know Tiger Woods, Rory McIlroy, and the TGL team built a whole damn mini arena. If I just said “a simulator 24x bigger than anything you or I have been to,” you’d probably think “…alright?” How about a simulator 24x the normal size with real grass, real rough, real sand AND a green/short game area that moves on TECTONIC PLATES? And also teams of 4 made up of some of the best PGA Tour players in the world. More intrigued now? Maybe not, but that’s the best I can do for now. Let’s get into it:

SVP with the open. The pre match interviews. The entrances. It was pretty incredible from the start. Initial thoughts? LOVE the pace. The 40 second shot clock adds an element to professional golf where … ya know … you have to hit the shot in a normal amount of time. Fuck you, Patrick Cantlay.

The format is pretty basic. The first part is alternate shot with 3 players. The second part is 1v1. Each hole is 1 point. The interesting aspect? This item called a “hammer.” It’s similar to what the common man refers to as a “press,” or an added element that essentially doubles up that hole’s points. The main difference? You can use it mid hole. Honestly, I’m still trying to figure that out. They don’t call Iowa “Harvard of the Midwest” for nothing.

One constant throughout all of this, whether it be real or virtual golf? Wyndham Clark is such a fucking loser, man. My god, this guy STINKS. If I was given the opportunity to play a round with him, I’d disrespectfully decline.

ESPN and Matt Barrie brought on Tiger Woods 40 minutes in, too. Thoughts? Guy is 100% still on a bunch of pain meds 97% of the time. Allegedly. Don’t sue us yet.

And God damnit, Ludvig Aberg may have the perfect golf swing. Maybe routine, too. Zero unnecessary movement. Walk up, get set, hit. Boom. Literal sex. I’ll bonk myself.

I should probably mention the teams tonight other than my good friend Wyndham. New York Golf Club vs The Bay Golf Club. Mean anything to you? Me neither. Like the hammer, still trying to figure out these teams and why exactly the names and players are aligned. NYGC, tonight at least (remember 4 total players), is Xander Schauffele, Matt Fitzpatrick, and Rickie Fowler. TBGC consists of Shane Lowry, Ludvig Aberg, and my buddy Mr. Clark – such a … never mind.

The Bay got off to a QUICK start. 5-0 after 5 holes. Nice and competitive first match! In the meantime, let me get to some early suggestions. The team talks and hot mics are great, but give us more, ESPN! MORE! The crowd? Lively at times, but you’re some of the few who get to be there in person. Make some noise! Make this even more unique. I’d also enjoy more shit talk. Can we get more? Please?

Well, it’s 9:36 CST and The Bay just won 7-1. I guess they keep playing, though, in case of a tiebreaker at the end of the year? Okay.

That was fun. I would call that a very successful debut for TGL. And when these guys get more familiar with the pace, the courses, the format, I think it will be even better.

I’ll be back next week for Night 2.

King YABO